It's dangerous. It's addictive. Get off your phone.
Kids constantly hear about the downsides of social media , often in the form of dire warnings and commands. But these adults did not grow up with social media themselves.
They didn't get a phone handed to them as toddlers, just to keep them quiet in a restaurant. They didn't join TikTok's predecessor Musica.ly and do silly dances before they even learned to read. They didn't have their schools , their connections to friends and peers relegated to phone and computer screens.
Kids coming of age with social media are forging ahead in a whole new world. And now that they are getting older, they have some advice for their younger peers.
Heres what they wish they knew when they first got online.
You dont have to share everything
Its so easy to look at your friends stories and feel this feeling of FOMO, of missing out and comparing yourself, like: Oh, my friend just got a new car. Its like this overwhelming sense of comparison. But the things that people post on social media, its just the highlight reel, like the 1% of their life that they want to showcase to other people.
Bao Le, 18, a freshman at Vanderbilt University
Dont take it too seriously
My main point of advice would be not to take it too seriously. Be yourself. I feel like what I was exposed to as a 12-year-old was much more limited than what is accessible to 12year-olds nowadays. Younger kids want to be who they idolize. And when the TikTok stars or the social media stars are 20, 18, 16, theyre going to want to be like them. Youre getting younger kids that are now obsessing over products and brands, and its just getting really hard to be young. And it shouldnt be really hard to be young. You should be enjoying childhood. And we shouldnt be rushing to grow up. Its OK to be 12. Its OK to be young. Its OK to enjoy childhood.
Doreen Malata, 22, a senior at the University of Maryland
How addictive it is
It seems like it would be really easy to just put your phone down and stop scrolling. But it is not. If there was advice that I could give to my younger self, it would be to tell my parents to set up time limits for me even though I would have never said that when I was starting social media. Also, I personally would not let my kid have TikTok. I would try to resist it as long as I could. Its so addictive.
Sienna Keene, 17, a high school senior in Orinda, California
Take a social media detox
When you first get these apps, it hits you like, BOOM, there is so much content. Styles, fashion models. It really impacts you heavily when you first get it, this feeling of: How do they do it? How do they look like this? How do they get clothes like that? When youre new to social media, these trends can overtake you. I started to use screentime (monitoring) on my phone and limit the amount of time I am on social media. Ive been taking phone detoxes. On weekends, Ill take a social media detox for 10 hours or the majority of the day. Ill hang out with my family, ride my bike. I only have notifications for my messages and workspaces. I dont have any notifications on for social media apps.
Ava Havidic, 18, a high school senior in Broward County, Florida
You are the one in control
"Often I hear the term social media user, but I felt like I was being used by social media. I had this routine of scrolling mindlessly through TikTok, just scrolling and scrolling and comparing myself to other people. It ultimately really affected my body image, my perception of what was considered beautiful or accepted into society. But the only thing I was getting out of social media was feeling fatigued, or I would feel sad.
"You can use social media to amplify your passions, but in order to do that you need to do a lot of work outside of social media, to discover who you are as a person, what matters to you and what contributions you can make to the world.
Lea Nepomuceno, 18, a freshman at George Washington University
Its a waste of time
I would say just dont use it. Its kind of a waste of time. Youre just having conversations about pointless things, random pop culture stuff. It just sucks your time. Youre not really getting anything out of it, just short-term satisfaction. Its kind of meaningless. I know this is kind of outlandish, but I feel like there should be some sort of age limit because I dont think children should be on the internet.
Mikael Makonnen, 18, a freshman at American University
A lot of it is not real
A lot of people make their life artificial so that theyre perceived in a certain way. And I think going into social media, I wish I knew it is a tool to learn from. Theres so much information, and youre able to learn so much about different things. ... I wish people had that outlook rather than the whole idea of other people viewing you and having to be seen a certain way.
Nour Mahmoud, 21, a junior at Virginia Commonwealth University
Its OK to put up boundaries and block someone
You cant scroll on TikTok or look through Instagram without seeing supermodels who have edited their photos and are promoting unrealistic beauty standards. I dont want to see these girls who pretend to be fitness influencers but are just promoting an eating disorder like body checking on my feed. That is one thing I wish I knew when I started: that it is OK to not want to look at that or want to consume it. Its OK to protect yourself and your own body image. Another thing I wish I knew is that not everyone on social media is your friend. When you are young and impressionable and people are reaching out to you, just know that not everyone is as friendly as you think they are.
Madeleine Maestre, 18, a freshman at Santa Clara University
__
Interviews by Almaz Abedje, Jocelyn Gecker and Barbara Ortutay
The Associated Press